Resolution has so many meanings. Something toward which you feel resolute. The clarity of a computer-based image. Bringing things to conclusion or solution. A promise you resolve keep to yourself.
For me, right now, resolution means all of these things. For the rest of my life, however long that is, my resolve is to bring clarity to my life by 1) concluding unfinished business, 2) keeping promises to myself, and 3) solving, once and for all, the many issues of my upbringing that have kept me from true happiness.
That probably sounds like I’ve been reading way too many self-help books but at this point it’s simply an effort to get to the core of things and get past all the bullshit in my life created by both myself and others. Because life’s short, right? Why wait?
Seems like most days all any of us do is try to get through. Take care of the kids, pay our bills, work our butts off, and try like hell to have a little bit of fun. Some of us are stuck in addictions or dysfunctions or the worst kind of affliction: self-deception.
I’ve lived my whole life either struggling with the results of childhood drama or trying to get ahead, to get a little bit more, to work hard enough that hopefully someday I won’t have any uncertainty or struggle in my life. But as the years go on and the world gets weirder, society gets more uncertain rather than certain. And all that work: will it pay off? Will it truly bring protection, longer life or an easier lifestyle some day? I’d say the chances of that are decreasing rather than increasing.
So rather than continue down the path of striving harder and stressing myself out, I’m refocusing on a couple of key elements:
If I died tomorrow, would I have any regrets? Would I be able to die with peace and honor? Would I have concluded long-unfinished business? Would I have given back in some way?
How do I bring clarity and focus to my life in a world of noise and distraction?
Step 1: Resolve Issues & Hangups
Get some help to shed, once and for all, many of my own issues and hangups. How? Counseling. Hypnotherapy. Status: it’s happening! Lots of great learnings and resolution here.
Step 2: Physiology
Shed pounds, bad habits, stress, and all the other things that push us to an early end. How? Exercise. Health focus. Reading. Meditation. Give up coffee. Give up unhealthy food. Status: walking 2mi per day. Eating primarily organic.
Step 3: Balance
Work hard toward a balance between work activity and personal (“Balance? What’s that?”). Stop overworking myself. Dedicate time for exercise, relaxation and mental detox. Status: needs work.
Step 4: Resolution
Resolve all unfinished business with others. How? Saying what should be said. Doing what was promised yet postponed. Status: getting there.
Step 5: Give Back
To my kids, to society, to the earth. How? Give my kids as much support as they’ll let me (which right doesn’t seem to be very much!). Volunteer. Help people in need. Status: have helped efforts to drill a Sudanese well; volunteer at fundraising efforts in Seattle.
So far, I am so happy to say that the refocus is happening. I’m doing ALL of these things. And it feels great. I have a long way to go but I’m on the right path. Perhaps the one thing that needs the most work is work/life balance. Working on it.
And thankfully I have an amazing woman to accompany me, whom I can support and who supports me.
Anyway…this probably sounds pretty woo-woo but you do what you’ve gotta do.
Wish me luck.